Pro tip: bring a surgical glove.
Ibrought Purell, took all four rings off of my right hand, and removed my Whoop sleep tracker from my right wristat Dune: Part Two: We Reviewed the Sandworm Popcorn Bucket. (For Science.).
One whole freaking day before Dune: Part Two opened in theaters, yesterday at three o’clock in the afternoon, I was prepared to (for science!) consume just popcorn from the Dune bucket for the entire 162 minutes of the movie. The viral vessel, which you have to reach inside to get popcorn at Dune, is a rubbery replica of the front (face, mouth, butthole, etc.) of an Arrakian sandworm, in case you haven’t seen it yet. Section Two: The Sandworm Popcorn Bucket was reviewed (for science). It resembles a tentacled suction cup for your hand in several ways. I entered AMC Lincoln Square anticipating to spend a good forty percent of my right arm in a greasy excursion at Dune: Second Section: Our Analysis of the Sandworm Popcorn Bucket (For Science).
Guess what? The theater ran out of the damn bucket. (Sickos, all of you.) Shameful! But I won’t lie to you—I was a little relieved. Instead, I polished off an entire large popcorn the old-fashioned way: fistfuls straight to mouth, no rubbery wormhole to circumnavigate. Thankfully, Esquire’s Senior Market Editor, Alfonso Fernandez Navas, saw the film on Wednesday, and he managed to get his hands on the (what I am now gathering is rare!) Duneussy, as he calls it in the review I asked him to film afterward. Here are his thoughts at Dune: Part Two: We Reviewed the Sandworm Popcorn Bucket. (For Science.):
A 10/10 was unexpected. I want to say that I would’ve had a pretty bad time overall eating out of the Dune bucket, but it’s hard to say for sure. It certainly would have slowed me down—and I don’t think I would have finished a quarter of my popcorn during the previews. (Which I did.) So it gets points for extending the lifespan of your popcorn, which is a pretty important spec, considering the movie’s nearly three-hour-long runtime. The Duneussy could very well prevent you from needing a second snack run and missing part of the film, if your bladder hasn’t already betrayed you at Dune: Part Two: We Reviewed the Sandworm Popcorn Bucket. (For Science.).
The mess-prevention factor is worth noting as well, though I personally have zero problem with eating a few stray popcorn kernels off of my shirt throughout a film if need be. I feel like the sensation of coating my entire hand and forearm—once I got so deep into my popcorn that I had to start digging for more—would probably cancel out any cleanliness bonus that the souvenir provides with its small opening. What if I wanted to take a break from the popcorn to sip my drink, eat some candy, or just rest my arm? Would I get grease everywhere?! I also was wearing a thick sweater yesterday, which I would’ve theoretically had to remove (leaving me in a tank top like Alfonso, and I would’ve probably been cold) or push up my sleeve to the point where I’d cease blood flow in my right arm. If you do go to the theater with hopes of securing the Dune popcorn bucket, just wear a T-shirt. And maybe bring a surgical glove at Dune: Part Two: We Reviewed the Sandworm Popcorn Bucket. (For Science.).
It’s likely that eating from a rubber sandworm has additional sensory advantages. The rubbery wormhole will keep your hands engaged throughout the movie, long after you’ve finished your popcorn, if you’re the kind of person who likes to play with toys that resemble fidget spinners. But use caution. Refrain from going too far. Even if the person next to me was merely innocuously enjoying the feel of the silky bristles on their fingers at Dune, I’m sure it would have been disturbing if they began rhythmically fisting their popcorn bucket. Second Section: Our Analysis of the Sandworm Popcorn Bucket (For Science).
For anything beyond that? You could very well get arrested. I would recommend you just take the bucket home and do whatever you want with it there. Just… don’t list it on eBay afterward. Please at Dune: Part Two: We Reviewed the Sandworm Popcorn Bucket. (For Science.).
